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#3838 | | checkuary, n: The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day and ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his checks.
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#3839 | | Chef, n.: Any cook who swears in French.
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#3840 | | Cheit's Lament: If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you-- the next time he's in need.
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#3841 | | Chemicals, n.: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
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#3842 | | Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
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#3843 | | Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #36: Never ever ask the tough looking gentleman wearing El Rukn headgear where he got his "pyramid powered pizza warmer". -- Chicago Reader 3/27/81
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#3844 | | Chicago Transit Authority Rider's Rule #84: The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request for overheated passengers. When your timer pops up, the driver will cheerfully baste you. -- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
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#3845 | | Chicken Soup: An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother. -- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
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#3846 | | Chism's Law of Completion: The amount of time required to complete a government project is precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
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#3847 | | Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.
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