 fortune index all fortunes
| | #5056 | | A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods.
After being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears,
one a male, one a female, looking suspiciously overstuffed. They killed
the female, autopsied her, and sure enough, found the German and the Pole.
"What do you think?" said the the first ranger.
"The Czech is in the male," replied the second.
| | | #5057 | | Aberdeen was so small that when the family with the car went
on vacation, the gas station and drive-in theatre had to close.
| | | #5058 | | According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in
America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.
Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could
beat up their city anytime.
-- David Letterman
| | | #5059 | | "All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."
-- Saint Patrick
| | | #5060 | | Also, the Scots are said to have invented golf. Then they had
to invent Scotch whiskey to take away the pain and frustration.
| | | #5061 | | alta, v: To change; make or become different; modify.
ansa, v: A spoken or written reply, as to a question.
baa, n: A place people meet to have a few drinks.
Baaston, n: The capital of Massachusetts.
baaba, n: One whose business is to cut or trim hair or beards.
beea, n: An alcoholic beverage brewed from malt and hops, often
found in baas.
caaa, n: An automobile.
centa, n: A point around which something revolves; axis. (Or
someone involved with the Knicks.)
chouda, n: A thick seafood soup, often in a milk base.
dada, n: Information, esp. information organized for analysis or
computation.
-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary
| | | #5062 | | America was discovered by Amerigo Vespucci and was named after him, until
people got tired of living in a place called "Vespuccia" and changed its
name to "America".
-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
| | | #5063 | | America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
-- Allen Ginsberg
| | | #5064 | | American by birth; Texan by the grace of God.
| | | #5065 | | Americans are people who insist on living in the present, tense.
| | | | ... |
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