 fortune index all fortunes
| | #8823 | | A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
-- Ogden Nash
| | | #8824 | | A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons to
the bartender. "Hey, bartender, gimme a whiskey."
The bartender ignores him.
"Hey bartender, gimme a whiskey!"
Still ignored.
"HEY BARMAN!! GIMME A WHISKEY!!"
The bartender takes out his six-shooter and shoots the dog in the
leg, and the dog runs out the saloon, howling in pain.
Three years later, the wee dog appears again, wearing boots,
jeans, chaps, a Stetson, gun belt, and guns. He ambles slowly into the
saloon, goes up to the bar, leans over it, and says to the bartender,
"I'm here t'git the man that shot muh paw."
| | | #8825 | | About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
| | | #8826 | | All intelligent species own cats.
| | | #8827 | | Any member introducing a dog into the Society's premises shall be
liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall
be deemed to be a cat.
-- Rule 46, Oxford Union Society, London
| | | #8828 | | Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
-- R. Heinlein
| | | #8829 | | "Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
"The curious incident of the stable dog in the nighttime."
"But the dog did nothing in the nighttime."
"That was the curious incident."
-- A. Conan Doyle, "Silver Blaze"
| | | #8830 | | Auribus teneo lupum.
[I hold a wolf by the ears.]
[Boy, it *sounds* good. But what does it *mean*?]
| | | #8831 | | Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
| | | #8832 | | Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
-- Garrison Keillor
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